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Composer Humor

I found the following on my classical music listserv and thought you may enjoy its clever analysis:

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A recent report now says that the popular "Mozart Effect" is another charming urban legend. The bad news for the hip urban professionals : playing Mozart for your designer baby will not improve his IQ or help him get into that exclusive pre-school. Of course, we're all better off for listening to Mozart purely for the pleasure of it. However, one wonders whether, if playing Mozart sonatas for little Tiffany or Jason could boost their intelligence, what would happen if other composers were played during the kiddies' developmental time?

LISZT EFFECT:  Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but never really says anything important.

BRUCKNER EFFECT: Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself frequently. Gains reputation for profundity.

WAGNER EFFECT: Child becomes a megalomaniac. May eventually marry his sister.

MAHLER EFFECT: Child continually screams - at great length and volume -that he's dying.

SCHOENBERG EFFECT: Child never repeats a word until he's used all the other words in his vocabulary. Sometimes talks backwards. Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child blames them for their inability to understand him.

IVES EFFECT: The child develops a remarkable ability to carry on several separate conversations at once.

GLASS EFFECT: The child tends to repeat himself over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

STRAVINSKY EFFECT: The child is prone to savage, guttural and profane outbursts that often lead to fighting and pandemonium in the preschool.

BRAHMS EFFECT: The child is able to speak beautifully as long as his sentences contain a multiple of three words (3, 6, 9, 12, etc). However, his sentences containing 4 or 8 words are strangely uninspired.

CAGE EFFECT: Child says nothing for 4 minutes, 33 seconds. (Preferred by 9 out of 10 classroom teachers.)
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My husband would probably argue that my parents introduced me to Philip Glass at a young age.  Not so, but I did fall in love with his music junior year in college. :)

Out of the loop

I haven't been posting as much because like everyone else, I'm busy with holiday activities and work.  I will be posting more arts/music articles soon, probably after new year's.
 

Nick Pitera, Falsetto extraordinaire

My friend Mark alerted me to the strange and bizarre talents of Nick Pitera.

See for yourself:



If you don't know why he's truly unique, then you didn't watch the whole clip!


 

Chloe is here, and she's finally ready to talk.  Please note that I am merely translating for Chloe.  I take no responsibility for what she says, and I do not necessarily agree with her views (especially on music.)   Also, in the past, she has demonstrated quite an attitude: Exhibits, A, B, and C and so on.


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Greetings, friends.  My name is Chloe.  My captor prefers to brand me "Chloe the Cat," but I have neither the time nor the concern to address her shenanigans. In order to better acquaint you with myself, let me briefly list my likes and dislikes:

dislikes:

First, I hate being controlled. My captor tries frequently to "play" with me using silly toys. She also dresses me up in the most outlandish and soul-crushing costumes.  I will not speak further of these tragic embarrassments.  I have to keep my captor at bay and content. 

(Me to Chloe: Hey, wait, Chloe. What you're saying is starting to concern me.)
 

SHUSH, you fool! 

Ahem, I mean "Mommy."

Second, I hate when my "Mommy" limits my portions of Iams brand cat food. It is quality food, and I don't think my "Mommy" realizes its worth. 

(Wait, I do! What's your point?) 

Nothing, Mother. Nothing. 

<FYI: She is sighing and shaking her head.  I didn't know a cat could do that.>


likes:

First, I absolutely love the Arts. All types.  I especially love Gilbert and Sullivan Operas and any sort of musical. Those glorious "obras del arte" touch on our deepest emotions. You are right, my dear friends, I do indeed speak Spanish. I am a cultured, multilingual feline. Do you not see? This captivity does not suit my many talents.

(I mean it, Chloe).
  

Yes, Mother.  

<She's
rolling her eyes now>

Second, I love Duvel, the Belgian beer.  Yes, it is true, I also am a connoisseur of the finest of beverages. Judge me not, for I have been known to enjoy a beverage or two on occasion. 

<I realIy hope this is over soon> 

If my "Mommy Dearest" does not appreciate all of my various pursuits, so be it. 

(Are we almost done?)



Ahem, anyway, enough of the small talk.  The really important matter to discuss is the fact that December is almost out of my grasp.  



I cannot believe that "Mommy" kept me so long from posting.  Though I do not agree with her tastes in music and art in general <I don't agree with Chloe's artistic opinions, either>, I did want to let you know that I, too, am in search of information about the arts.  I will be posting on my findings as much as "Mommy" will let me.

Stay tuned, I will grace you with my knowledge and enlighten.....your.....soul.

(whatever, that's enough.)

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 Anyway, for those of you that celebrate, Merry Christmas and we'll post more soon.

 

The Wrath of Chloe

I have been forgetting lately that Chloe has quite a bit to say.  See below for pictorial evidence of her disgust.

She would like me to share with you that if she doesn't get to post soon, she will maim her poor, helpless kitty beanie pal, Buttercup.  See her crazy eyes? I cannot help but take her demands seriously.  
 




Stay tuned, Chloe will be posting soon.  Mommy is just too tired right now to translate from catspeak.  I only hope that Chloe will understand....

My Apologies...

The poll that I so lovingly created below is only available to livejournal users. I apologize for the confusion! I guess this goes with territory of using livejournal.

A very hearty thanks to those livejournal users who did fill out the poll!


If you are....

a) bored
b) feeling helpful and supportive
c) just want to let me know what you think
d) feeling sorry for me because I spent so much time on this poll for no real purpose

.....please take a few seconds to fill this out.

Your feedback is anonymous, and VERY much appreciated!

Poll #1105657 Vote on it!

What type of posts would you find most interesting to read?

Info on music of the pop variety
2(50.0%)
Info on music of the classical variety
0(0.0%)
Info on a varied assortment of arts - music, visual, and performing
0(0.0%)
Info on any type of music
0(0.0%)
None of the above - see my comments in the comments section below
1(25.0%)

How often do you read blogs (of any type)?

A few times a day
0(0.0%)
A few times a week
1(25.0%)
It varies on my schedule.
2(50.0%)
I don't read blogs that often.
0(0.0%)
None of the above - see my comments below.
1(25.0%)

When do you read blogs?

In the morning before I start work/school/whatever.
0(0.0%)
Throughout the day
0(0.0%)
In the evening
2(50.0%)
It varies on my schedule.
2(50.0%)
None of the above - see comments below.
0(0.0%)

Why do you read blogs?

I am bored!
0(0.0%)
I want to find out more information about a certain topic.
1(25.0%)
I want to find out more about someone who writes it.
2(50.0%)
None of the above - see comments below.
0(0.0%)

Where do you read blogs?

At home
2(50.0%)
At work
0(0.0%)
At school
0(0.0%)
At an internet cafe
1(25.0%)
None of the above - see comments below.
0(0.0%)

Any other type of feedback that you would like me to know?

Cruiserweight

I found out today that Cruiserweight, a band that I have enjoyed listening to for several years, is now being recognized by MTV.  Congrats to them!  From what I have heard, Stella, the lead singer, has quite a stage presence. I hope to see them live at some point.

My favorite songs of theirs are "I'm Back" and "Cautionary Tale", though their new stuff sounds great as well.


http://www.myspace.com/cruiserweight




Congrats Dallas Symphony!

Taken from today's IN THE NEWS from Http://www.americanorchestras.org,

Dallas Sym scores hit with Beethoven fest

In today’s (12/10) Dallas Morning News, Scott Cantrell notes, “The Dallas Symphony Orchestra’s five-program Beethoven Festival brought in 27,000 patrons, says the orchestra’s president and CEO, Fred Bronstein. Nearly 25 percent of the ticket buyers were first-timers at DSO concerts. Two of the five weekends, which together cycled through all nine Beethoven symphonies, were sellouts: one featuring Jaap van Zweden’s first performances since being named the orchestra’s music director-designate, another with Jirí Belohlávek conducting the Ninth Symphony.” Bronstein compared the Beethoven festival with previous, less ambitious Dallas Symphony “mini-festivals,” noting the challenge of sustaining strong ticket sales for five straight weeks. “Dr. Bronstein also said total paid attendance for the DSO’s core series (summer, classical, pops and family) so far this year is up 18 percent over last year.”

Helene Grimaud

Thursday night, I saw Helene Grimaud with the Philadelphia Orchestra at the Kennedy Center.  

She was amazing!  


See her live if you get the chance!   

She performed Beethoven's Fifth Piano Concerto "Emperor.", which she just recorded for Deutsche Grammophon. I admire that she seems to give her all in every performance .  Though she is known internationally for her talent, I still get the sense that she is a bit nervous and self conscious, which indicates that she is very dedicated to giving her audience the best performance possible. I was seated on the left side a few rows back, so I got to see her fingers fly and hear her frenzied breathing!

Helene Grimaud's second passion is wolves, and she founded a Wolf Conservation Center north of New York City.  She wrote a book, Wild Harmonies, about her experiences as a musician and advocate for this endangered species.  I have just started the book, and it holds my interest quite easily because it is beautifully written, with rich descriptions.  She is quite the rebel, as a child and now!

http://www.helenegrimaud.com